Loving..?

Love is an intricate issue.
Loving someone means giving up on all the senseless pride and showing your true colours to the significant other. It means being naked in front of a crowd, it's making yourself vulnerable to the extreme, it's risking your safety and your heart's for something that isnt even a fact...something that is just a feeling, something the scientists call "Chemical Reactions".
Loving someone is unfair to oneself, it's caring for someone too much, to even mind when they say something which you know it's complete and utterly nonsensical and stupid and even if you know it's not true to take it personal enough to get hurt.
Loving is letting someone else play with your feelings, mess with your head and get away with murder. Loving hurts beyond measure and it sucks specially when you know the person will never feel exactly the same way you do. It's literally a total and complete waste of time.
But we still fall for that archaic trap, everytime. Knowing you'll enter a never ending vicious circle which always ends at giving in too much and too far and of course getting hurt.
My conclusion being the human being is a stupid specie!

Problem-free philosophy!

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata?

Yeah. It's our motto!

What's a motto?

Nothing. What's a-motto with you?

Those two words will solve all your problems

That's right. Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he was a young warthog...

When I was a young wart hog

Very nice

Thanks

He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the shame  He was ashamed
Thought of changin' my name What's in a name?
And I got downhearted  How did ya feel?
Everytime that I...

Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!
Oh. Sorry

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna--

It means no worries for the rest of your days

All

All I want is all or nothing.
we cant leave things at half.
In life either you're as in as you say you are or you're not.
And sadly that's how it goes.

7th symphony 2nd movement

There's an amazing feeling you get from listening to a song you love.
Beethoven's 7th symphony 2nd movement gives me that thrill. Not having any lyrics to interpretate or to sing along with, somehow makes it easier. Sometimes we are too focused on the lyrics to comtenplate the story the music's telling.
As soon as the music starts I'm not myself anymore, I'm someone more interesting and highly educated on wordly affairs. I'm not the dominican 16 year old who is stuck in a little party town.
I'm older and I live in Austria or France or England and play a perfect violin, speak 5 languages and know all there is to know about history, I dance ballet and work on my music and art most of the time.
The music tells me of a great story of triumph, sorrow and strength all intertwined. Tells me of loss and victory. There's nothing else but me and Beethoven.

Maria...

Ludwig Van Beethoven mum's name was Maria.
Maria Magdalena Keverich.

Handbook to Understand Some of Maria

I LOVE music and art. I think Eleanor Rigby is one of the most interesting master pieces ever written. Im not sporty at all, but Ill still go to the baseball play and support my team. Im really funny and sarcastic when required...If you're sarcastic, expect me to be sarcastic in return.
Im really demanding, I only want and expect the best from certain affairs. If I aked for too much from you, it's only cause I ask too much from myself.
I can party my life away on a good day and read a book on a great day and feel complete in a weird way. Achieving goals is one of my major pleasures in life, because I can easily give up on my way there. There's nothing easier but for me to get distracted, and there's nothing that distracts me more than a song I love.
I'm a thinker, I think and that's what I do, thinking. I think too much about things that I shouldn't really worry about. I'm a paranoid and block people out from my life when they're too close to becoming really someone in my life. I've read tons of books but ones that I always remember I read is "The Last Vampire" and "Anne Of Green Gables".
I love to feel to the maximum until I get afraid or ashamed and I can't do it anymore. If I'm really crossed don't go away until I let you in...Most of the time all I want is for someone to just listen and not judge.
I hate hypocrits and ignorance. I'm a sucker for Europe and I want to live there "when I grow up". I hate it for people to have preconceived ideas of who I am. Im not stupid, Im not plastic, Im not a bookeater, Im not mean, and Im certainly not a bitch UNLESS you ask for it. Then I become someone other than Maria.
I used to hate my name until I met the song "Maria" from "West Side Story" and only then did I understand ' how beautiful a sound can be...'. I love acting and singing but I do panic before doing it for big crowds. I cried when I first sang ''Yellow'' in public, it was just too much joy to handle.
I can be sweet and I can be sexy...I can be both at the same time. I can speak three languages almost fluently (almost because of French). I WILL sing in the most unappropiate moments and feel complexed about my height...especially when YOU say it.
I love serenades and chocolate milkshakes. When I devote myself to something or someone...I truly devote.
Ive always wanted to name a pet Prudence or Eleanor Rigby. I LOVE The Beatles and Coldplay and if you asked me which is the best moment in my life, I'd say my first day in rainy, cold and misserable Manchester =)
Finally, I am me, Myself and I and nothing can ever change that... I am who I am, and I am....
Maria.

?

Sometimes not feeling is worse than feeling and you just want to die.
disappear.

Then what?

The more I think about it, the more I see it everywhere...
It's insanity and it slowly drags me along with it, but after the moment's gone,
I realize that it was just in the moment and that the subject of matter is completely
and redundantly overated. And if at the end all I feel is curiously empty because it seems
like it isn't such a big deal to everyone but me...then it's not really worth it..is it?
seriously intrigued,
Me.

Dancing Queen

" I know the modus operandi, it's funny, cause you think you're the only one in the game. I just want to advice you, you're not alone in this game... Im in too. ''You're a teaser and you turn them on" ...I know the song too, I dont only know it...I can sing it too."

Plato and I agreed.

We live afraid of the truth, live all our life with eyes closed, thinking that what we see is all there is.
I've been studying some of Plato's philosophy lately and there are many arguments I agree with.
Plato believed there were two worlds: 'The world of ideas' and 'the world of senses'. He believed that there must be something behind the 'material world'. " This reality contained the 'eternal and immutable' 'patterns' behind the various phenomena we come across in nature". And this belonged to the world of ideas, because only that which is understood with our reason is considered 'true knowledge.'
The 'truths' we have in the world of senses are those which we obviously find with our senses. "We can only have opinions about things that belong to the world of senses, tangible things". This is because every human being sees what they want in everything.
For example, the bible is clear about everything it says, yet everyone interpretates it in different ways.
These are two extremely different worlds because, reason, in a way is the direct opposite of 'thinking so' and 'feeling'.
"According to Plato, man is a dual creature. We have a body that 'flows' for it's inseparably bound to the world of the senses, and it's subject to the same fate as everything else in this world - death".
All our senses are part of the body, therefore becoming unreliable. Plato also believed we have an immortal soul - "and this soul is the realm of reason". The soul is the opposite of the body, because it's not physical, meaning it belongs to the world of ideas.
I agree with Plato when he states that the soul exists before it inhabits the body. I believe the soul wanders around the universe as one with nature. I also believe the soul is so wise before it inhabits the body and once it becomes 'one' with the body, it's proccess starts again. It learns everything again. "As soon as the soul wakes up in a human body, it forgets all the perfect ideas."
But the soul never does entirely detaches from its freedom before, or from everything it ever knew.
Once in a while the soul sees something and it seems familiar, as if it had seen it before or even lived it before and we call this a deja vu, but do you really think it's all a coincidence? Or has the soul waken up to notice one of the initial 'perfect ideas'?
"The sight of something familiar is sufficient to awaken in the soul a faint recollection of the 'perfect idea', which the soul once saw in the world of ideas, and this stirs the soul with a yearning to return to its true realm". Plato called this yearning 'eros' which means love.
What all of this means is that once the soul realizes a greater 'truth' and significance to this life it longs to go back to the initial 'truth'. It doesn't want to be 'blinded' again.
"From now on the body and the sensory world is experienced as imperfect and insignificant. The soul longs to fly home... to be frees from the chains of the body."
We suddenly become one with our soul and the 'truths' we once considered important or a 'truth' at all are no longer so. We want to know reasons why things happen, we want to discover.
Of course this is all an ideal course of life according to Plato, since by no means all human beings set the soul free to go back to the world of ideas.
Some of us just live our life not noticing the things that are so clear in front of our own eyes. We live an ignorant life content with what we know and 'satisfied' with what little we know, actually thinking we know a lot. For ignorance is bliss.
" Wisest is he who knows he does not know" Socrates said.
We live in the shadows of the world of sense. Not that he meant that the natural world is the shadows itself but that it is dark and gloomy in comparison with the clarity of ideas.
A picture of a beautiful landscape, is not dark and dreary. But it is only a picture.


*Quotes from 'Sophie's World'

Warning Sign

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and I realized,
That you were an island and I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...

By Coldplay

Ohhh England, england...qu'est que je vais faire avec ma vie?

Happy Bday Wiwi !

It seems so surrealist to see you this age,
for I watched you sleep in your little crib every night.
We wouldnt sleep til you stopped crying,
I would kick and scream just to hold you in my arms.
My lil playing baby you were, because of you I had to take care
mum wouldnt keep her eyes off of you, but I understood,
cause baby how beautiful were you.
Year by year I've seen you grow, realizing how old I've become.
It makes me nostalgic to think of you as big,
but trust me lil brother, your big sister I'll always be.
We can go our ways, and never see again,
but forever you'll have someone that cares.

I love you wiwi,
your big sister :)

again!

Oh no...here it goes again... when everything seemed right something came and blew right away!

Ornates

Too much stress and frustration right now, it's like I'm headed into an one end alley called 'Gastritis'...
The view from here doesn't look good, and the things which are supposed to help me are probably just ornates in the way, pretty and shiny but at the end just ornates...Useless and absurd ornates.

Future Plans...?

Lately my mind has been invaded by existencial questions which only fill me with doubt and uncertainty. It seems like things that were already so pristine and clear to me, make no sense at all now. Maybe I'm changing, evolving into someone more 'mature' or maybe it's the opposite and I'm just rejecting maturity to remain my own self, the one in the present.
I know I'm not the only one with fear for the future. The human being has always had an amazing curiosity for the unknown, it's just our nature...

Trouble

O no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.

O no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turn to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

And I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

O no, I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,

Singing I, I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I, I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.

They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.


Trouble by Coldplay

I'm a terrible person

I'm a terrible person, cause Ive made up my mind.
Im disastrous and I hurt people by being like that, Im really not constant and I change my mind easily...Its not just that I change my mind but that I dont think things well before I operate and that's when I get in trouble.
Sometimes I just wanna go back in time and have the problems I had then, cause somehow they were so much easier to solve than the ones I have now. Why can't it ever be a bit easier? It's really annoying.
All I wanna do is get away from here as soon as I can, to a place far away, alone. Think for myself and make up my mind for once, cause I don't wanna hurt and I dont want people to hurt because of me. I'm complicated and that's why I think very few people get me, if anyone does at all...And to be honest, I dont think anyone fully gets this level of simple complexity (ironic too much?). I'm learning so much about myself and understanding me better everyday. Finally.
It was about time. This is a journey I can only take by myself and it's scary but it needs to be done, cause there so many things I have to prepare myself for before I get out there alone.
But for now, all I know is, that I'm a terrible person and there are a lot of things I don't deserve and I still get them.

Full Moon

They say that in every full moon night, we let go of ourselves a bit more. I agree. It all started a full moon night, ALL of this, the rest of my life. I think I predicted everything that would happen that night, and I'll never forget the people who were with me, the mood I was in and the things that were said. Interesting how such a mystical thing could unravel so many hidden affairs of destiny.
Here I sit, many full moons later thinking about how every single one of my predictions became true...

Breathe

'' 'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.''

...

Strawberry Fields Forever

Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.Strawberry Fields forever.Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.It doesn't matter much to me.Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.Strawberry Fields forever.No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.That is you can't you know tune in but it's all right.That is I think it's not too bad.Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.Strawberry Fields forever.Always no sometimes think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.I think, er No, I mean, er Yes but it's all wrong.That is I think I disagree.Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about.Strawberry Fields forever.Strawberry Fields forever.Strawberry Fields forever.

by: The Beatles

...Can someone please take me to strawberry fields...where nothing is real?

Happiness available?

And why is it that everytime something's going good for me it blows up in my face as it to say ''You don't deserve happiness'' ...

Curious

So there's this feeling I'm having lately...It's a good one. I like it so far.

Maybe it's the thrill of knowing it's wrong but it feels right at the same time. It's bittersweet, but God knows that's my favourite flavour.

I have to clear my head and think it through before I make a move for it can change my whole life, maybe for good but maybe not...Maybe I can take my chances haha. It's good having it as a secret so far, because it feels so mine. I want to know where this feeling is going to take me, I'm curious about it.

I hope I find out soon if this is exactly what I want...I just need a hint first because Im so not the type that makes the first move or who is the first to take action. Just one little clue to make up my mind.

Catherine Children

You are so very special to me, you have absolutely no idea. When we met, I had no idea that in so short time you would become one of my dearest friends. You see, the way I see things, it's almost impossible for something like our friendship to exist. That's why it's so precious to me.

I know you miss me a lot, but so do I!! I really wish we lived closer, things would be so much easier or maybe not. You have to think of it this way, sometimes distance makes relationships better and stronger (any kind of relationship) and maybe this long gap between us is just there to prove we really care for each other and that no matter the distance we're there for each other.

And I really am here for you all the time, even if we don't talk for 1 month, I know I have someone thinking of me and that's great. I always hope everything's going great for you! I just want to let you know you don't have to be sad about us being far away from each other, you're still closer to me than most people that surround me. Trust me on that one.

Maybe someday, sooner than we think, we'll be back walking down the streets of rainy Manchester looking for the closest Subway or trying to get to Picadilly Gardens to go shopping, and that'll be perfect again. I really miss you but I'm so grateful I have you as my friend, with you nothing is " Awkwardly Strange" hahaha :P I love you lots, really.


Amanda from Panama =)

Brand New Start =)

I'm so excited right now. I passed my breakdown, I made it through with a lil help from my friends (which I absolutely LOVE).

I realized there's a silver lining to every dark cloud, and I'm happy I did. Now I'm ready for a fresh new start ( Borron y cuenta nueva). I wanna enjoy every single second of what I have right now, find out more about myself, sing, dance and laugh again like I used to before getting hurt.

I wanna read my Greenpeace newsletters again. Fight for the causes I'm so passionate about, and I had forgotten about for a second. I wanna spend time analizing Coldplay's songs, all of them, as weird as it seems I really enjoy doing that and I stopped for a while. I wanna read more books, dream more, feel more than ever before.

I'm ready to be me again...No more sad faces or dark thoughts. It's time for me to smile again, this time no regrets or resentments. Letting it all out. Making it right.

This is also a Thank You note for all my friends who have help me make it through. I love you and without you it would have been so much harder.

Thank you guys.

If You Really Wanna Know, Everything's Wrong.

Don't ask me what's wrong if you know exactly what it is.
You can't act like you have your act all together when you tore mine apart, thats unfair.
I can't stand to think about this a second more, it's killing me, breaking me slowly into even more pieces, soon enough there will be so many pieces scattered all around it will be too hard to find myself. Impossible.
Nobody said it was easy, I knew it but I still took my chances. First time ever. But as soon as you saw a complication you ran. What a brave thing to do, uh? I stayed here, I'm still standing here feeling confused, angry, disappointed at myself. Looks like that's the only feeling you achieved in me, disappointment. Well done.
Like I needed another blow tp my stomach, Ive got too many of those and it's getting tiring to try and stand up when it hurts so much.
Next time, before you hurt me, just walk away and cut it quick, cold and painless, instead of dragging me around with you and your guilty conscience. Oh and by the way, don't ask me what's wrong... You damn know what the hell's wrong, you fool.

This Is How It Works...

You're young until you're not
You LOVE until you DON'T
You try until you can
You laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe until their dying breath...

- Regina Spektor

Poor Lil Womanizer

Superstar
Where you from, how's it going?
I know you
Gotta clue, what you’re doing?
You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here
But I know what you are, what you are, baby

Look at you
Gettin' more than just a re-up
Baby, you
Got all the puppets with their strings up
Fakin' like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em
I know what you are, what you are, baby

Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer, you’re a Womanizer
Oh, Womanizer, oh you’re a Womanizer, baby
You-you-you are
You-you-you are
Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer

Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
(spoken) “You got me goin’
You’re oh so charmin’
But I can’t do it
You Womanizer”

Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
(spoken) “You say I’m crazy
I got you’re crazy
You’re nothin’ but a
Womanizer”

Daddy-O
You got the swagger of a champion
Too bad for you
You just can't find the right companion
I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard
It could be easy, who you are
That’s just who you are, baby

Lollipop
Must mistake me; you’re the sucker
To think that I
Would be a victim, not another
Say it, play it how you wanna
But no way I'm ever gonna fall for you,
Never you, baby
Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer, you’re a Womanizer
Oh, Womanizer, oh you’re a Womanizer, baby


Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
(spoken) “You got me goin’
You’re oh so charmin’
But I can’t do it
You Womanizer”

Boy, don't try to front
(spoken) “You say I’m crazy
I got you’re crazy
You’re nothin’ but a
Womanizer”

Maybe if we both lived in a different world
(Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer)
It would be all good, and maybe I could be ya girl
But I can't 'cause we don't
You…

Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer, you’re a Womanizer
Oh, Womanizer, oh you’re a Womanizer, baby


Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
Boy, don't try to front
I-I know just-just what you are, ah, ah
(spoken) “You got me goin’
You’re oh so charmin’
But I can’t do it
You Womanizer”




...You see, this is where you got it all wrong. You think you've got the world at your feet and that nothing can stop you, til you meet someone who does and then you think your plan wasnt so flawless after all...Playing with someone else's feelings is on karma's bad list baby...

Crystal Ball

Today I felt weird watching all those sad romantic movies but after a while I felt so much better. I don't know, but getting over you or this has been not easy per say but not as hard as I thought it would be. I actually do see you as a person who was so much more before but now is a great friend. I like that.
As it has always been, you are a constant balance to deal with! I liked you a lot but now I don't know, I need you but I don't, I want you but I don't, I miss you but I don't. I hate not knowing how much more time I'll feel uncertain about how I really feel about you now, but time makes everything clear.
I know that it will make me feel a little 'stressed out' when you start 'moving on' if I can really call it that way, but that's to be expected. And I know there will be nothing I'll be able to do cause as we ended up as good friends I only want what's best for you...Sincerely.
I guess I'll never know if you ever REALLY cared for me as you say but I can't read your mind, and I don't expect to anyway. I just know I did and maybe still do, and I gave you my best, which makes me feel proud in some weird way.
I'm just really excited to see what happens in a few more months! If I had a crystal ball I'd wanna see how things really end up like. I'd wanna see if maybe I am next to someone else or if you're next to someone else...I'd wanna see how I end up... Overall I wanna see me smiling, alone or accompanied. Either way I just wanna be happy.

Let Go

It's alright,
cause there's beauty in a breakdown...

Wishing For a Thursday in England

Today has been a typical thursday.

I woke up earlier than anyone else in my house wishing my iPod still worked,

lied there alone on my small bed looking towards the ceiling. Thinking. Wishing I could go back to my old dreams, the ones that didnt include him.

I stood up, took the usual shower and drank the usual morning chocolate sitting on the usual chair looking out the window to see the same view of every week day. Wishing it was another view, maybe the one I could see everyday out my window last summer in England.

During the same car ride every morning when my parents discuss how they plan to spend their day in their jobs and talk of the latest news and my brothers fight over something that seems completely pointless to me but means the world to them. I stare out the car window, wishing it was the same view of one of those lovely dawns in those long train trips to Chester or York.

I listen to my dad's iPod trying to block my mind from everything around me..." Im into you and girl no one else would do" ...It works for a while until I feel someone touching my shoulder. It's time for the morning prayer.

I get off at school, meet Paola in the bathroom and Celina has never been so hyper. I smile nostalgically ,thinking how much I'll miss them when we can't do the same every morning.

Math is just Ok. French is never fun anymore. English, we try to read Othello but Mrs Moragues thinks talking about ANYTHING else but reading the book is interesting. And then finally, the subject I wait for all week : Music.

No other class is over as quickly as this. Its Jazz time now. I love the feeling of being free and dancing all the thoughts I'm trying to block off my mind away. I move freely and try to give my best, for this is one of my favourite parts of my whole week if not THE favourite.

It's time to go back home now and face my homeworks and the not talking to anyone in my room, only left alone with my thoughts and an old stereo playing " Amsterdam" ...

I'll wait for my nightly call from the only person I never get tired of talking to. The one who's there at every single hour of the day through his calls, even if he's far away. This is my favourite part of every night. :)

I'll fall asleep after trying to do my Geo homework and listen to Coldplay through my sleeping hours and hopefully dream of that place that makes me happy...

Never Old Enough

1. Crying: Demanding or requiring action or attention: eg. A crying need

When we were babies we would cry for nothing and everything at the same time and everyone around us would come running to us, make funny faces, sing songs, make stupid little dances, hold you in their arms, and suddenly everything would be just fine.

The important thing was that they would do just about anything as long as they could see a smile on your face again.

Then growing up, being little football players or pretty ballerinas, we would run and fall, scratch our knees and we would cry and our mum or dad would say: "Don't cry, wash your hands and face...Big kids don't cry". Most of the times they would ignore it, until we knew we didn't have to cry and would just get up and wash our hands and faces without anyone telling us.

Our parents knew that by doing that, it would build us a character. We couldn't understand it by then and would feel sad sometimes, but stronger nonetheless.

All grown up, the scars can be so much deeper than any scratched knee and when all we feel like doing is crying, sometimes we can't because we think " I'm strong ". And so we hide ourselves from the pain and tears by acting up, being funny, making funny faces, singing songs, dancing or comforting into the arms of a friend but not forgetting that sooner or later, the night comes and you're all alone in your room and there's nowhere to escape. It's no longer like when we were babies and your mum could sleep next to you, trying to make you stop crying and sleep defenseless in her warm arms.

Nothing will make us feel better until we finally let it all out and eventually let go. "You laugh until you cry, you cry until you laugh".

Suddenly you understand why one day your parents started ignoring you everytime you fell while you were growing up. It would prepare you for the scarier and deeper scars coming later on. It would make you 'Stronger'. But is 'Strong' really 'strong' or is it just a cover up? Or maybe, just maybe, some of us are just really 'Stronger' than others.

Whatever it is the answer, I think that wether you're the "strong'' type or the other kind (whatever its called...cause I don't think that just because you're not strong, you're soft...maybe you're in the middle) a few tears are never wrong and you're never old enough to shed some tears, even if you think you're alone, your friends (with no need of the word real before friends...cause if they're not real they aren't really friends) will come in and be the arms you need to let it all out.

... No need to be alarmed...Big girls do cry...

Nunca digas nunca

Nunca digas nunca, porque nunca sabes lo que puede pasar.

Nunca digas nunca, porque las palabras son tentaciones y las acciones traicioneras

Nunca digas nunca, porque las situaciones cambian.

Nunca digas nunca, porque luego te tragas la palabra.

Nunca digas nunca, porque nunca es relativo.

Stop playing with my head!

Things are never what they seem...Are they ?
wow...Things you think could never happen...!
These things never cease to amaze me . I'm in shock right now...
Ay diooo fcuk this siht... I want it all. y ya.

Calls

Funny how one call can change EVERYTHING or NOTHING...

End Of Summer

Ok, so its school tomorow! WHY good God?!

I so don't feel like going back to that place where it smells like...old BOOKS! :P

I don't know why, but this has been the first time I don't feel like going back.

Why? well, some of my friends...The ones who know me -oh so well-, and whom have spent every tiny exciting bit of my summer with me, say it's because this was probably my best summer ever! And I could actually agree with them ;)

This summer has been filled with exciting, fun, sweet, awesome adventures. These moments have given me the greatest memories. Memories that I don't ever want to forget...Not even the bad ones, cause they have made the good ones feel so much better!

It sucks that this summer is over as soon as it's 12.00 tonight...It's kind of scary too, cause I don't want all this fun to end as soon as this summer is over and that everything that happened during this great 3 months will end with the start of school :s

I just know next summer things will be totally different in so many different ways...It's just a feeling, so I am just enjoying these last couple of hours I've got left to feel the last summer thrill.

I Believe # 2

..Perfect

Night...

If you believe and give it your best...It will happen.
Look...It happened to me...again. =)

I believe!

Do you really believe that if you want something with everything you've got, it can happen?
I've always thought so...At least it should be possible. I've only wanted one thing that bad before and when everything went wrong, I tried with everything I had to make it right. At the end I got it.
Right now, Im wanting something so much, that I think it already crossed the line from being something I really want to something I need. All the odds are against me right now, but I'm trying to make it right! For the first time, I'm not thinking negatively or just giving up...I'm trying and I won't give up until I've given my best.
I believe in destiny and if something is meant to be, it WILL happen. Trust me.


I believe... I DO!! I DO!

Can't Get It Right

Ive waited and waited and haven't gotten it. I've tried and tried and don't seem to get it right!
Why can't I get it for once in my life? I'm getting tired of just standing by.
Me estoy cansando de tratar y de no llegar a ningun lugar. No puedo seguir dando vueltas pensando en quien me va a parar...
Estoy cansada de tratar y de no llegar a ningun lugar.

I'll See You Soon

You know how a song brings back thousands of memories and sends chills down your spine?

"In a telescope lens and when all you want's friends...I'll see you soon". That's just cruel.

That song only reminds me of you, every single time, over and over again.

Did you know I used to smile when I listened to it? It was my song. You said so...You gave it to me. Now its no longer my song, it's the song of a thousand memories of our times. It's the song that makes my eyes shed tears of nostalgy.

"With the windows all closed I'll be doing my best...I'll see you soon". How could you say I was your everything and then walk away? You said I could always count on you, cause you'd always be there. "Trust me".

"Oh, I know you lost your trust...Don't loose your trust...I'll see you soon"

I'm still waiting for that day Groene.

Here you have me waiting.

I guess I'll see you soon.

Ignorance Is Bliss...

Sometimes I am afraid of the night's arrival. It's during those dark and silent hours that I start asking questions. The questions I avoid asking myself during the day.

I am afraid because all of a sudden I think of the honest and dreaded answers to those questions.

Somehow the darkness of the night wraps around my mind making everything ironically clear. I really think it's a safe assumption to make that I'm not the only one who fears for the loneliness of the darkest hours of the day.

I think it's not the questions we're afraid of but the answers, because it's at that time when we're by ourselves, with no pretentions or walls. Just lost in a river of streaming thoughts.

It's at this time when we can't lie anymore, because as much as we want to, we can never fool ourselves. Trying to fool ourselves is just a waste of our given time.

It's at this time when you can see clearly, and sometimes the truth is not at all what we want to know.

For ignorance is bliss but no matter how much bliss you can feel when you're blinded by lies, it's nothing compared with the sweetness of the freedom given by the truth.

Logic

Funny how you think you know me so well,
how you think you read me inside out,
how you think you really do have all the answers.
You know nothing. You too are human.
No perfections or answers.
You don't know me.
You don't get to judge me
you are there but I can't feel you anyways,
you're not really there then, i guess.
I once looked up to you...but you are worse than me.
You hate hipocrisy and you are full of it.
So busy showing me where I'm wrong,
you think you know. You don't.
We're all messed up...
So superior, are you not.
I'm nothing but don't be mistaken, so are you
I'm not another experiment,
there's a hole in your logic, you who knows all the answers.
Your love is not anymore.
Meaningless and shameless.
You DON'T know me,
Don't act like you do.
You too are human.

As I wait...

I sit and wait, I just stare and wait.

I start wondering if its all worth it,

it might be but it might not,

I'd have to wait and see.

There's no escape from waiting,

Is there?

I sit and wait, I wait for any sign,

I think and nothing really makes sense,

But it does.

I'll have to just wait and see.

There's no getting away from waiting,

Is there?

Dear stranger,

Tonight I realized...I miss you. Why is it that you always find your way back ? You always find your way back to my head, but when I need it the most.
I might not have understood why it happened at first. I was in shock. Sad. Frustrated.
Then I finally got it...you were protecting me. Sometimes I feel bad because I think maybe it was for the best. When I don't think highly of myself, I think of you, and of how great you thought of me and of how amazing you made me feel and I just know I deserve better. You gave me that, it's one of my most precious gifts.
Then I didnt understand why giving me your best, even when you needed ME to give you my best...but then it came to my mind like a breath of fresh air. Giving me your best made you feel like you were the very best.
Now I just wonder: What if? What if it had been different? What if we had never met? What if?
Maybe I'll never forget you, but that's ok. Forgetting you isn't an option to me right now anyway.
You leaving made me ask myself questions that not even the greatest philosopher could answer, but somehow it only made me know you better. And that's ok too, because now I understand you're not a stranger at all to me.
You're like my favourite song. I know it backwards.