I know not having a significant other near me is kind of sad sometimes, but just the thought of feeling free, free to love more, to be me alone is delightful.
Besides all that, not having to worry about not being loved anymore or being left when you most care is just such a relief to me. I've always been afraid of hurting, of feeling any kind of pain, be it physical or emotional and the funny thing is I've been feeling pain for so long, I've grown used to it, I'm kind of numb.
I'm funny and sarcastic and distant. I make others feel better but I don't know how to do that for myself...I need to learn to deal with this thing if I ever want to really love someone and mean it. In order for me to fall in love I need to lose my fear of feeling pain, cause it's inevitable.
